But perhaps an approach similar to a victim offender reconciliation program could help Ali deal with his own need for vengeance. It's hard to say, but if the process was made clear to the boy, the pilot is making serious steps to fully understand how he impacted him, it might be easier. Although there's no way of restoring what Ali lost, Claassen said the boy probably needs an acknowledgement of his wrongs, and a chance to respond. This boy suffered a horrible loss and there's not much that could be done to make it up to him.
For now, Ali is under the care of his uncle and is living as a guest of Britain's Limbless Association in a suburb of London. He has said he is looking forward to returning home to Iraq as he undergoes occupational therapy and gets used to his new limbs — a daily reminder of his painful loss. Maybe someday they won't remind him of desire for revenge. We'll notify you here with news about. Turn on desktop notifications for breaking stories about interest?
Comments 0. Top Stories. Memo from Trump attorney outlined how Pence could overturn election, says new book 3 hours ago. Senator slams Biden administration, won't criticize Trump comments 1 hour ago. Southwest employee hospitalized after being assaulted by passenger, airline says Nov 13, PM. You might be thinking that it will also provide great relief from the pain that you are feeling or some sort of satisfaction.
Sadly, evidence shows that people who seek revenge instead of forgiving or letting go, tend to feel worse in the long run. You are much better off channelling your energy into moving forward positively with your life.
I hate to break it to you, but if you consider yourself to be a decent human being, causing someone else distress or pain whether you think they are deserving of it or not might not put the smile on your face you were hoping for. In fact, it might make you feel worse; you might feel guilty, upset, regretful — and these kinds of feelings tend to linger and weigh heavy on your conscience. While you might feel hurt or betrayed right now , eventually you will be able to put those feelings behind you, but if you burden your conscience with guilt, you are more likely to ruminate over your actions — this makes moving on much harder and only puts your life on hold.
What can really be gained? It is far better to save yourself from the possibility of further trauma. Focus on the good things in your life and look at how you can move forward, putting the person who hurt you firmly in the past.
Not to sound cliche but life is short! Think of all the fun things you could be doing instead of acting like Mr. Burns and plotting, planning and focusing your energy on the negative. Whether you believe in it or not, karma makes a much better friend than a foe — make sure to keep on the right side of it:. So do the right thing, be the bigger person — you will be glad you did so in the long run.
So, you seek revenge on the person who hurt you. They then take revenge on your revenge…and the cycle continues. Try and leave negativity and people who bring you down in the past. He brings an entire army to Troy, waging a lengthy war that kills thousands. The theme of revenge spirals through the entire narrative. When Achilles' best friend and cousin Patroklus is killed, he too seeks a reckless and bloody revenge. Revenge has been part of human behaviour for almost as long as we have existed on Earth.
Many of us have no doubt imagined vengeance against those who have wronged us, or even lashed out at them. In the moment, it can certainly feel cathartic to do so. But what motivates us to seek revenge in the first place?
Researchers are gradually getting some answers, and they are finding that revenge has some unexpected upsides. Revenge is a powerful emotional trigger that mobilises people into action. Hamlet's quest is motivated by revenge, like so many stories throughout history Credit: Getty Images. And it shapes politics too. Donald Trump's presidential victory, for instance, came as a result of "revenge of working-class whites… who felt abandoned by a rapidly globalising economy," according to an article in the Washington Post.
The same sentiment is echoed by many other outlets. While the topic of aggression is well-studied — its triggers include alcohol , being insulted and narcissistic personality traits — revenge is lesser understood.
It is not easy to untangle from violent behaviour, making it a difficult topic to study. David Chester of Virginia Commonwealth University was initially studying aggression but quickly realised that there is often a lot more going on before a violent interaction. He refers to the emotions involved as the "psychological middlemen" — the thoughts and feelings that come between a provocation and an aggressive outcome. He set out to uncover more about what causes it.
First he, along with his colleague Nathan DeWall of the University of Kentucky, discovered that a person who is insulted or socially rejected feels an emotional pain. The area in the brain associated with pain was most active in participants who went on to react with an aggressive response after feeling rejected.
In a follow-up study he was surprised to find that emotional pain was intricately yoked with pleasure. That is, while rejection initially feels painful, it can quickly be masked by pleasure when presented with the opportunity to get revenge — it even activates the brain's known reward circuit, the nucleus accumbens.
People who are provoked behave aggressively precisely because it can be "hedonically rewarding", Chester found. By engaging in this type of behavior, you are actually planning a long-term destruction of your life, since misery is you constant companion. You need to move forward, not focus on the past. There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness; revenge of any sort is extremely toxic.
When people seek out revenge, it tends to consume them entirely. Some people take it way too far and it is hard to control yourself once you get going. Time is the best way to distance yourself from the situation. If you really think about it, why do you even need revenge? You can get past anything someone did to offend you without it. You do not need any sort of interaction from these people. Distance yourself and never let them see you suffer.
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